I have spent the last 48 hours, as most others, being
inundated by the media barrage in response to Robin Williams’ death. It is enough to take my breath away. I have been pretending to myself that I am
just another person listening to and watching the coverage, but I now
officially surrender.
It is part of the aftermath of being a suicide survivor that
this kind of event becomes just plain personal and “extra hard”. Sorry, but fancy words escape me. It is just more intense than it is for
others. At least I think it must
be.
And it is not the fact that it reminds me of my son’s
suicide. Not at all. Yes, it is a little more “in my face” than
usual, but seriously, does anyone think I need at any point to be
reminded? I always say in my blog that I
continue the journey of my life with as much joy and peace as I can, with the
spirit of my son and his destiny always walking alongside me.
So it is not being
reminded.
What is so
difficult is watching and hearing people’s responses to it. Watching everyone talk the talk, and waiting
for someone to start walking the walk.
We are going to do more…we are going to do better…everyone should be
aware.
Being positive, I do believe that this one man has now
definitely brought this problem to the forefront of our lives, and certainly,
there must be very few people who have not read or watched at least some
information about his death. And, as the
beautiful karma of life, he was so dedicated to making others happy and so
beloved, that there seems to be little criticism or sarcasm in response to his
act. It seems that everyone is simply so
sad and regretful to lose a beautiful soul and stunned that it was in this
manner. As it should be.
My worry is that this will last for this week, and soon,
sooner than later, it will be yesterday’s news.
And all of our good intentions, all of our passion, to help those who
suffer from mental illness and addictions, who are at high risk for suicide,
will fade away. We see it each time
there is a news event…the school shootings, the military issues, other
shootings, etc. People are determined
to be part of change, but it doesn’t change. I don’t know how to fix this. I try in tiny ways without being annoying to
remind people. I talk about it, I write
about it, I join organizations and donate, I try. And I am not afraid to literally ask someone
if they are “okay” when they are very, very upset. (and they know what I am
asking) But am I helping? I don’t know.
Maybe our loss of this great artist will push more people to maintain their efforts to work toward
improved acceptance and even more importantly improved care for those with
mental illness. Maybe this time the
conversations will continue longer.
Maybe because of his station in life there will be substantial funding
for research and improved medications.
This is what we need to pray and hope for.
Ironically, for me, Robin Williams was not one of my
favorite comedians. He was too edgy and over the top for me. He made me nervous. BUT, he was one of my favorite dramatic
actors, and one of my favorite human beings.
I loved him more when he could just be himself, and in his serious roles
his eyes gave away so much. I especially
remember watching in awe at the beautiful friendship he maintained with Christopher Reeves…how he was at his side, took time from
his schedule, and surely was part of the force that kept this Superman
alive. Now there are so many other
stories coming out about his kindness to others, his true humanitarianism, it is
overwhelming.
What I have learned from my life, is that in times of
tragedy, all we can do is to keep on going and survive in one way or
another. Robin Williams would want us to
take as much good from this as we could.
We need to ride the tsunami wave that is happening right now, and learn,
educate, and help. I hope we will and I
hope it will last a long, long time.
At the same time, we can remember and revere this one man on
this huge earth, who was able to do so much while he was here, who so embraced all
that is good in our human selves that he is now on the minds of and in the
hearts of everyone. And amazingly, we
can watch and see how a beautiful existence can continue to help and teach,
through the universe that is our humanity, even after his earthly body is gone.
RIP Robin
Williams…your pain is gone, but your brilliance shines on forever.
