Dear Erik,
I'm not doing very well here, and am afraid I will never stop feeling sad or be happy again. I tell everyone that I think you didn't know how sad you were going to make me, but deep down I know it woudn't have mattered. I know that even if someone had shown you how upset we were going to be, you would have left us anyway. I know you couldn't stand feeling bad anymore, I watched your pain for so long, and I am so sorry that you had to suffer so much. I'm so sorry
