I have been trying to help get the word out about this Saturday, which is International Suicide Survivors Day. If you are from the Buffalo NY area, you can take a look at the last page of my blog for specific information regarding the event near us.
My understanding is that the meeting that is held follows the same format in all parts of the world. Particularly in the US, the teleconference panel is the same for everyone, so that everyone will be hearing the same thoughts.
The first year after Erik died, I chose not to attend. In retrospect, I wish I had.
After attending last year, my second year, the main message I would like to get out informally is this: If you have any inkling of going to the gathering, you should go. I want to assure everyone that this is a comfortable, supportive, and very non-threatening afternoon. If you chose to do so, you could easily come in, not speak to anyone, find a seat, and only observe the events of the day. No one will expect you to say anything or put you on the spot about anything. There is even a room set aside where you can go to have a few minutes alone if you need it, and there are several support people stationed at the back of the room, who can help you if you need to get there or are upset. For that matter, if at any point you felt you would rather leave, you could easily slip out as well.
The program begins with a very simple candle lighting ceremony, with the names of our deceased loved ones read aloud. If you choose to include your loved one's name, there is a card to fill out as you sign in for the event. Then there is the video conference. The panel on the video conference consists of people who have lost someone to suicide, who are willing to share some of their challenges and strategies in their grieving process. Afterwards, there was a discussion by professionals regarding the challenges of suicide survivors. Then, there is a live panel, consisting of both families and professionals, to share thoughts about grief and the mourning process. This is very informal, with plenty of time for attendees to ask questions or make comments regarding their experiences. Also, before and after the structured program, there is time to talk to others if you would like to.
This meeting is a beautiful opportunity to find support and solace among a group of people who have all been through the experience of suicide loss. Whatever point you are at in your journey, there is a good chance you will find something helpful about this experience. Whether it is simply to realize you are not alone in your experience, or someone says something very specific that resounds with your experience, it may bring you some relief and comfort to be there. Also, in addition to the afternoon itself, there will be suggestions of how to find assistance in the future, or perhaps new ideas of things that will be helpful to you in your journey of healing.
I will be attending again this year. I feel grateful to have an opportunity to take time out of my schedule to gather with others of a like mind. While I feel okay with where I am at with my own grieving process, I know there is always a little further I can go on my journey, or always something new I can hear or learn that will be important to me. I also want to share with others, and always hope that there may be something I can do to help others.
And, it is a way to remember Erik in a more special manner than usual, and a tribute to all those we have lost to suicide.
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