The Catholic Church and Suicide

    

    My family is Catholic and I myself fall into that cliche of the "fallen away Catholic".  I have at different times attended Church fairly regularly and at other times barely at all,
depending on what passage of my life I was at.  For me, however, it seems that if you were born Catholic you will always be a Catholic, no matter if your behavior indicates otherwise.

        I know that religion and politics are two subjects to stay away from unless you want to be controversial, and since that is not my goal here, I will forge ahead cautiously.

        It was one of those non-decisions  that my son should have a Catholic burial and mass, so I called our family parish to arrange the mass.  Part of the message I want to deliver here is that the Catholic church has progressed in many ways, and while I was clear when I called that my son had died by suicide, there was no hesitation or questioning when it came to planning his funeral mass. I can't seem to remember how I got my hands on the brochure which allowed me to choose passages and hymns for the mass, but I was able to do so and felt some modicum of control over how the service would go.

        I will confess that I had a few misgivings over the thought of the sermon, and because I knew the priest who would be saying the mass, felt comfortable to call him.  My goal was to ask him to please portray that Erik had been so ill, and had tried to get better, and to ask everyone to be forgiving of what he had done and not angry.  I have to chuckle now a little, because I must have gotten a little too bossy since at one point Father assured me he could give a good sermon and had already written it.

        I have often wished I had asked father to give me a copy of that sermon, because it was so beautiful, comforting, and kind.  At first I became a little nervous as he started talking about mental illness and how much mental illness there is in today's society.  But he quickly got to the point of this part of the sermon which was that "mental illness kills people".  I was so pleased that he chose to use this moment to try to promote awareness and help others.

        Again, I wish I could remember the specifics of what he said, but of course I can't.  I do remember the theme of his message which was truly inspiring and comforting.  He painted a picture for us all of Erik going to a beautiful place of joy, comfort, and peace.  He vividly spoke of Jesus waiting for him with his arms held open to welcome him.  He then spoke of a bible passage comparing a time when Jesus had journeyed to a place of despair, His darkest moment, and how God the Father had led him back to His destiny of a safe place.  He then paralleled this to my son, and how he had been in such a dark hopeless place, and now was brought to one of joy.

        There was no thought here of condemnation, of the possibility that suicide victims are bad people or sinners, or that there could be any doubt that Erik would be in that positive afterlife that any other person would be able to experience.  In fact, I am not sure, but I believe that he specifically said the words that none of us should doubt Erik's place in heaven.

        So many people approached me afterwards to say what a beautiful sermon it had been!  And I couldn't have been more grateful for those five or ten minutes of hearing spiritual words spoken for Erik.  I feel that the only thing I can do to show my gratitude, is to use this opportunity to let people know that the Catholic Church does not condemn those who die by suicide, and in fact provided all of us in that church some comfort and solace at a time when it was most desperately needed.