Since I have known him, I have become familiar with many of the members of his family, just through his stories about them and the fact that he speaks of them so fondly so often. I was supposed to meet most of his family the day after Christmas, but this was precluded by two things, first, the host of the family party had taken a sudden downturn with his fight with cancer and spent Christmas in the hospital, and then, since I had to travel a distance to get there, the one big snow storm of the winter prevented me from driving to join them...
The man who was taken to the hospital was my friend's brother-in-law, his younger sister's husband. This couple had three daughters of their own, many grandchildren, and had assumed a special role in the life of my friend's daughter when she lost her mother when she was thirteen.
I have listened to the progression of the end of this man's life since Christmas, wanting to offer support to my friend when I could, as he was spending a good part of each day at hospice to offer support to his sister and her daughters, and also to spend this last period of time with his brother-in-law, Don.
The thing that kept leaping out to me in his conversations, was how loved and respected this man was. I did not know him, yet now I feel I do, at least a little bit. And I am thinking that he was one of what I like to call the "quiet heroes".
Don will not be famous in the traditional sense of the word, with the exception of a traditional obituary, he will not be written about in newspapers and books. He passed last night quietly in a hospice room surrounded by his family and friends. He will be buried with traditional services, which will not be televised or announced.
But here is what is significant. His life and passing are notable for all of the truly important reasons many of us have come to appreciate and hold dear. He was a hard worker with a value system of caring for and about his family. He built a home and life for his wife and daughters, instilling family values of caring for the other person, and appreciating the small moments of loved ones spending good times and bad together. He embraced the wedding vows of "for richer and poorer, for better or worse", dedicated to a marriage of over 40 years. He then became a much loved grampa to his nine grandchildren, who will remember him and pass down stories and snapshots of their time with him for years to come.
This man is a hero to me for his perseverence of leading a good, simple life in this world which we know has become so erratic and crazy at times.
This was evidenced by the scenario at his passing. A quiet room, but a room filled with loved ones saying their farewells. A room filled with so many memories, so much gratitude for all he had done for others, and so many promises to carry on this legacy of a good life.
And if I had to choose between notoriety and this scene of family love and values, I would only hope that my departure from this earth is so gently celebrated by those who love me as his is, and that my legacy will be in the memories of those whose lives I have touched as his is. Don and those like him who carry on simple and unassuming lives with love and faith at the their core, are my heroes.
Don, I never met you, yet I feel I know you a little bit. I salute you for the good life you led, and for the legacy you have left for your children, grandchildren, and all of us who survive you.
No comments:
Post a Comment